Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. This is one thing ‘Bob’ learned the hard way a few years ago when he had his face and upper body splashed with acid by a jilted lover. She cleverly lured him into a trap by asking him to drop her to pick some things at Sun ‘N’ Sand Beach Hotel in Kikambala off the Mombasa-Malindi highway. She had done her homework well and knew that to get to the hotel which is quite interior from the highway, they would pass through some dark deserted areas. Love affairs are difficult to read from outside so whether the lady in question was actually jilted or not is something nobody except the two can know for sure. But I don’t think anyone deserves an acid bathe on the face for whatever reason.

They met at around 8.00 and set off to the hotel. At the most deserted stretch, the lady poured the acid on the left side of his face and upper body. She also stabbed him but fortunately the knife did not touch any vital organs. It’s the burning and the realization that he was staring death in the face in a dark deserted place that was really getting at him. He stayed there burning for close to two hours. Fortunately he survived. He was rescued by a tours and travel van driver who was coming from the hotel and rushed to hospital where he stayed for months undergoing reconstructive treatment. His face was permanently disfigured by the time he left the hospital.

From the reports I’ve read around, an acid bathe at first feels like hot water on the skin. Then there’s stinging and a burning sensation that gets worse and worse as the acid eats into the flesh. The victim feels like his/her face is melting away. A lot of victims of this heinous and cowardly crime die soon after the attack but those who survive require months of hospitalization and reconstructive surgery. It’s like the acid also continues to eat at the flesh of the victim way after treatment commences. Some have to have their faces rebuild piece by piece over time. Whichever way, they carry the physical and emotional scars for life. The Psychological trauma of permanent disfiguration is immense and considering that most attackers target the face, permanent blindness is common.

This cowardly but frightening phenomenon is not as common in Kenya as it is in countries like Cambodia and Nigeria but that does not mean it does not happen. Cases of acid assault reported at Kenyatta National Hospital for example are in the range of 4-5 per month. In Nairobi Women’s hospital they’re few and far between but when they are brought in, they’re of such magnitude they’re not easily forgotten. Acids and other corrosive substances belong to laboratories and industries but the thing is it’s very easy to acquire them. Sulphuric and Hydrochorolic acids which are the ones most commonly used by attackers are both readily available over the counter at Kshs.500 per liter. One can even get then from car repair shops for a pittance. Although Kenya has signed three UN conventions regulating the sale of acids and other corrosive agents, it’s yet to adopt this law within the country.

Acid wielding killers are just as bad as gun totting criminals and just like we have gun controls, we need some regulation on sales of acids and other corrosive substances.

There are many types of extramarital affairs and no one is the same in how they pan out. There are however a similar enough theme to many affairs that we can classify them into a few different types. Using these broad definitions you can decide what is the driving for behind the affair and how to deal with it. So here are 7 common types of extramarital affairs to help you out with your relationship troubles.

1. My marriage made me do this! If your partner is blaming your marriage for his affair then obviously the marriage is the issue to look at. However it is a poor excuse to have an affair and blame the marriage for driving your partner to it. An affair is an easy way to get something they feel they cannot get within their marriage, it is an easy quick fix because they do not have the strength to fix whatever the problem is with the marriage. Depending on if you can forgive your partner for their indiscretion this at least is fixable however, if you want to rebuild your marriage you need to find the problems within the marriage and have the strength to confront them. If your partner is still not willing to try to solve these problems then the easy way out for them will always be there.

2. I just can’t say no! This is another coward’s way out, so weak they think they cannot refuse the sexual advances of another. If this is really true then you have to ask yourself if this person really is right for you, if they are this weak now can they ever change? Consider long and hard if this is the base reason for the affair as this is a psychological problem of your partner and has nothing to do with your marriage or yourself.

3. I just don’t WANT to say no! While it sounds similar to the previous type of affair this is actually better in some ways. If they did not want to say no it means they had a conscious choice and took it, this means they had to make a decision to go that far meaning there was still many reasons for them to say no but more reasons in their mind to say yes. If you can discover what made them make that fateful decision you can find the underlying problem and possibly save your relationship.

4. I am not in love any more! When your partner says this it can often mean they actually do not feel the excitement of being in love that you had at the beginning. All relationships lose that hot spark over time but they mature and become a different sort of love. Some people cannot make that transition however and feel if that first passion is not there consistently then the love is gone. This drives them into affairs for the excitement and thrill and what they feel is love. If they can learn to accept a new form of love you may be able to win them back if that is your wish and it may be a way to spark that first romance again as long as they realize the passion and excitement cannot last forever, if they cannot then more affairs will happen.

5. I did it to get revenge on my spouse! What did you do to deserve this treatment? An affair is a terrible way to punish your partner and is childish and immature to boot. However you can at least pinpoint the reason for the affair and can work to solve this issue. However if it is your partners habit to punish you for perceived wrongdoings you must ask yourself if this is the sort of person you wish to be with. Many people who make this decision do it on the spur of the moment however and can be remorseful about it. Those who do it as a calculated action should be avoided.

6. I needed to prove to myself I am still attractive! This is a major self esteem issue and is something that can be reversed if you can forgive them. This is the sign of a deeply unhappy person not at peace with themselves or their relationship. Sometimes it can be masked with a certain amount of ego and bravado but under it is usually a scared individual.

7. I just wanted to be close to someone! This is a sign of intimacy problems within your relationship. Whose fault this is does not matter at this point, they have erred by having an affair but this is a person looking for love and if you can still give it to them you can save your relationship. If you do give them all the love you can this may be a problem with them accepting your love for some reason.

While there may be more types of extramarital affairs these are some of the most common and if you can use this guide to pinpoint the type that your partner has committed you can make the right decision for your relationship!

Both the rejection and a fake promise are going to hurt, but a clear rejection will indicate that you can move on. Fake promises on the other hand, will raise your hopes so high that it would take you to a point after which you won’t be able to accept the truth and you’ll be so broken that you’d find it impossible to move on.

Being selfish and keeping someone hanging on to false hope is an evil cowardly thing to do. If you want someone to get over it quickly, just reject clearly. Fake promises might help you sail past a day or two, but the fact remains that a false front will come out eventually and will turn your life into chaos for expecting too much.

We experience too much rejection in this lifetime. If you just got recently turned down by something or someone you really wanted, how do you make sure you’ll confidently move on to the next chapter of your life whether the rejection may seem minimal or too huge to handle?

Often than not, after a rejection we tend to think maybe we were not good enough. While there may be pointers which we can positively improve on after a rejection, we must know the unfortunate situation did not happen because it’s entirely our fault. However, we just need to look on the brighter side. Be strong enough to see the positive side of a rejection. When we’re turned down, then this means we don’t have to handle the possible burdens or responsibilities involved. Instead, we should further polish our skills towards aiming for a much better, even more, preferable opportunity.

Take the rejection as a step for better opportunities. Believe me but it’s true that when one door closes, a window opens. In other words, this means that if one specific opportunity did not turn out well, then, there are more chances for you to keep seeing better options. However, it does not mean you can still afford to miss out on the next few ones. You’ll be much better off to seize every possible chance for improvement, based from your own experience.

Rejection is never easy to accept. But, they do not exist in this world for just the sake of tormenting us; rather, they actually hold a lot of lessons which we can learn from. Another thing, rejection is not the worst thing that can ever happen to you. It is still better than a fake promise.

Macbeth is the drama of man driven from crime to crime instigated by his wife, Lady Macbeth, and of its retribution by external forces. Shakespeare’s treatment of this central idea is manifested in the contrasted results of similar circumstances in two different natures – Macbeth and Lady Macbeth – one realizing itself in action and the other in thought.

For a villain to be a hero he must have sufficient greatness in his character to produce an impression of waste and there must be an internal struggle represented. Thus, Macbeth first comes before us as a mighty warrior. By personal valour he has saved his country from civil and alien foe. This is the noble side of him. Away from the battlefield he sinks to the level of quite common man.

Lady Macbeth’s is both a subtler and nobler nature than his. She has won her triumphs not in war but in the training of her intellect. But she is a woman still

I have given him suck and know

How tender it is to love the babe that milks me.

Her immediate impulse to crime is ambition for her husband, and in the banqueting scene she stifles agonies of remorse to save him from blunders.

Thus the antithesis between the two is that between the practical life and the intellectual. Macbeth is bold and resolute in the movement in action. He can kill a king. But when there is nothing to be done he is a prey to terrible imaginings. Through the imagination he is liable to supernatural fears, and through it comes to him the intimations of conscience and honour. The instant of murder is done, its futility is revealed to him

Had I but died an hour before this chance

I had lived a blessed time

In all this Lady Macbeth is the exact reverse. She has banished all superstitions from her soul. She is strong enough to quell her husband’s cowardly fears. She can scheme and plot, but she cannot act. She must leave the actual doing of the dastardly deed to her husband.

After the murder, Macbeth is stricken both with remorse and with fear of consequences. In time, the fear of consequences drives him to new murders. He becomes a craven and bloody tyrant. Only in the last hour of battle does he recover his own brave spirit.

With Lady Macbeth the curse works itself out not in fear but remorse. She has no hand in any murder but the first, but her sin is ever present to her. Awake or dreaming she can think of nothing but the stain upon her hand and soul. We witness the stiffed remorse and the agony of her natural feminine abhorrence of the sight and smell of blood in the sleep-walking scene:

“Here’s the smell of blood still; all the

Perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this

Little hand. Oh, oh, oh!”

The awful agonized cry repeated thrice bespeaks of a heart “sorely charged”. She also recalls the murder of Banquo in which she sided with her husband, and to the senseless killing of Lady Macduff. The details of Macbeth’s crime jostle with those of her own. She constantly longs for light and associates darkness with hell. In spite of all her earlier brave words, her whispered horror, “Hell is murky”, makes it clear that she was afraid of the world to come.

The “eternal feminine” in her nature rises in triumphant mutiny against her will. Macbeth has murdered sleep – sleep having forsaken his eyelids – but Lady Macbeth’s is a still direr curse to have sleep without its soothing powers. A midnight wanderer she, with memory zigzagging through the horrors of the past and stimulating the senses into mock activity, the woman of steely will is reduced to robotic automaton helplessly blurting out her secrets to the doctor who pronounces her malady as beyond his skill,

“More needs she the divine than the physician”

At last she dies a voluntary and most wretched death – self inflicted – her collapse is complete. Shakespeare here seems to be hinting a message that women, intelligent, independent, and ambitious, are far beyond man’s capability of control, but the reverse – intelligent, independent, and sauve – she is placed between man and God. She can make a man rise to the highest high of heights, and she can make him fall also to the lowest low of depths. Macbeth is an ‘abyss inian’ example of the latter.

The Prophet Ibrahim (Abraham) refused to worship the king of Babylonia, Namrud. Namrud’s followers suggested that he should be thrown in fire. So the arrangements were made by cutting all the trees in the forest and burning them for days. The fire became so hot that no bird would dare go into the area for the fear of being burnt alive. Then a crane was built and the prophet Ibrahim was lowered into the fire through the crane. Still the Prophet Ibrahim kept utter faith in Almighty. Almighty finally rewarded him. God ordered the burning fire to cool down and it did. Hence with faith, one man was able to find a way out of certain death.

TARIQ IBN ZAYED

You may say that Prophet Ibrahim was no mere mortal. He was the chosen one. He was the special prophet of Allah. You and I are mere mortals. How can we gather the courage and strength of prophets? History records the story of the Muslim Leader Tariq Ibn Zayed who in 711 AD had an army of 7,000 men to fight the superior army of enemy that was in tens of thousands. There was a fear in the ranks of the Muslim Army of being completely crushed by the enemy. When Tariq learned of this, he ordered his loyal men to burn the boats and hence their only safe passage home.

THE HISTORIC SPEECH

After the boats were burnt and the army seemed shattered, Tariq gathered them by the sea. In the background were their burning boats and in front of them were the enemy Army. Tariq addressed his men and said:

“Brothers in Islam, we have the enemy in front of us and the deep-sea behind us. We cannot return to our homes, because we have burnt our boats. We shall now either defeat the enemy and win or die a coward’s death by drowning in the sea. Who will follow me?“

Those words electrified the ranks of Tariq’s Army and they fought with courage, valor and faith. Tariq’s army crushed the enemy hundred times its size and conquered Spain. They were able to survive despite impossible odds because they burnt their boats and fought for dear life.

PAKISTAN SITUATION

Pakistan in 2014 is facing similar crisis. The country’s economy is growing by a mere 2% while the inflation is growing by 13-17% annually. This is resulting in a horrific divide between the rich and the poor. The rich have all the bounties of life and are growing richer by the day while the poor are losing their shelter, their safety and even the food on their plates. The current government comprises of people who are industrialists, feudal lords or business class. The poor are the worker class, the common public and the man on the street. No matter how qualified a poor man or woman is- there are no job openings for them. Education, health and basic necessities of life are beyond the reach of the common man.

IMRAN KHAN

At this critical point in the lives of the people of Pakistan, Allah gifted them with a savior in the form of Imran Khan. Imran Khan started in politics as a lone ranger some eighteen years back. Khan has a stellar track record in his profession. This cricketer turned politician has to his credit:

• Bringing home a Cricket World Cup trophy;
• Vice chancellorship of Bradford University;
• Fellowship of Oxford University.
• Through his charity hospital, Shaukat Khannum deserving patients received free treatment for over USD 160 Million over an eighteen year period.

Khan was married to one of the richest women in world, Jemima Goldsmith (currently Jemima Khan). Today she serves as the editor at large of Vanity Fair. Khan could have lived a luxurious life with fame and fortune till his last breath.

Khan chose the path less travelled. He came out on the streets to ask for the rights of the common man. He gave up everything and confined himself in one room container to ask for the rights of his people. This iconic leader that reader’s digest called “Pakistan’s favorite Son”is braving the extreme monsoon weather for the past one month with a crowd of 50,000 plus.

His call to Pakistan’s people can be viewed in this video by Umar Jamshed here:

Khan has taken an oath from his people to jump in the hell fire against the sitting government. He says to them that each one makes a difference. That one man can start a revolution and change the world. He says to the poor, crushed, scared people of Pakistan that if they run, they will be forced to return to the life of deprivation but if they stay firm and fight the evil they would succeed just like the army of Tariq Ibn Zayed.

Today the Pakistani people have to take this decision. Will the commit and fight or will the resign and run? It is this decision which will make all the difference. Because in our hands lies the destiny of our nation and the future of coming generations.

Tomorrow you could be faced with an impossible situation. You could be scared for the very life in you. But remember Prophet Ibrahim, Tariq Ibn Zayed and Imran Khan. Truly one man can change the world. The power is yours.

I’ll never forget the look of frustration on the young coach’s face when he approached me at my team practice. Being the type of coach which becomes totally engrossed in the minuteness of every play, every player’s action and re-action on the playing field, I’d have normally delayed talking to him until after practice, but he looked desperate.

He introduced himself as a brand new coach of an Atom I team, the first year of hitting live pitching, and was having an issue trying to teach 2 of his players to hit. The issue was they would not stay in the batters box and try to hit, for as soon as the ball was released, they’d Bail Out backwards out of the box, turn their heads towards the backstop or look down at the ground and not even see the ball.

“I’ve tried everything I know to do,” he said “any suggestions?”

I gazed up at the blue sky, as if seeking Divine intervention, rubbed my chin in deep thought, then asked him a question.

“Have you tried the Hit Them With The Pitch Drill?”

“What do you mean,” he asked, looking at me as if were an ogre “actually throwing at them?”

“Yea, kinda,” I said. Then continued to explain a drill which I had used through the years which had worked 99% of the time, nothing in baseball is 100%.

Obviously, unless there’s an undetected underlying problem, the reason kids bail out of the batters box is they’re afraid of getting hit by the baseball, which would hurt.

It’s ironic, something we regard as a cowardly act, in the reality of basic human survival instinct, is a lot smarter than standing there in harm’s way tempting fate. Therefore, we as coaches must approach this problem as a Reconditioning of a normal instinct issue, not a cowardly or timid act. So how do we accomplish this?

Hit Them With The Pitch Drill.

1. Be sure to inform the parents of what you intend to do in order to avoid any problem with an over protective Mother, or Father for that matter.

2. Get a bucket of tennis balls, 12 to 24 in order to not waste time retrieving them, as you will not use a catcher.

3. Make sure the player has his proper safety equipment, helmet, shoes tied, etc. in place. Talk to him, off by himself as to not embarrass him in front of his peers, in a calm voice. Tell him you understand his issue, Not Fear, about being hit with ball, but you’re going to show him it doesn’t hurt nearly as bad as he thinks.

4. Throw the first couple of tennis balls down the middle of the plate. There’s always the slim chance the coach pitching may encourage him to stay in the box, but don’t hold your breath.

5. Assuming the player begins bailing out, start throwing the ball behind him, intentionally trying to hit him, which is the main purpose of the drill.

6. Calmly explain, time & time again if necessary, the basics of staying in the box and watching the ball. The point here is to drive home the fact, backing out is Not keeping him from getting hit with the ball, and staying in and keeping an eye on the ball may be the better option.

7. Don’t concern yourself with hitting the ball. The intended goal of this drill is to keep the player in the batters box.

This drill will accomplish numerous things:

A. It’ll convince the player he must watch the ball, because bailing out and tucking his head was not preventing him from getting hit.

B. Because you’re using tennis balls, being hit will not hurt as badly as he may imagine, which helps reduce the fear of being hit. You never want to totally eliminate the fear of the ball, as there will be times to get out of the way.

C. It won’t take long to condition the mind and body, staying in and hitting is the normal course of business.

You may…. Probably… will have to perform this drill several times before its completely successful, although I have had kids which were hitting by the end of the drill.

Do not mistake Hay Fever for the play by Noel Coward which is currently playing in the London Theatres. It is a medical condition caused by an allergy to pollen or mould spores. It is not an all season medical condition. It affects only during spring and summer. If you are allergic to pollen and your dwelling is surrounded by trees and plants then you will suffer the effects. The cure – move to a city dwelling – jokes apart, it is not a very serious medical condition, although the symptoms can be very unpleasant for a sufferer, it can be controlled.

Nearly 2 to 3 million people in Britain are affected by Hayfever every year. Hayfever makes the body’s immune system overreact to the presence of external substances, as if they were something toxic. Irritation and inflammation are the result.

Asthma, Eczema and Hayfever are the three common conditions caused by allergy to pollen. Sometimes a person might get all of the three medical conditions if allergic to pollen.

The peak pollen period of summer normally coincides with the examination schedules of schools and universities and the students suffering from Hayfever can find themselves unable to revise/concentrate which in turns affects their performance in the examinations.

Symptoms

Hayfever does not have a common symptom. It varies from person to person. Sneezing, running or a blocked nose, itchy and watery red eyes and itchy throat are some of the symptoms of Hayfever. Air quality, weather and the pollen to which you are allergic are the three conditions which cause Hayfever. Pollen is present at different times of the year so you can not accurately predict when a person will suffer from Hayfever if they are allergic to pollen.

Cure

Across the counter prescription medicine containing antihistamine will counteract the effects of the main chemicals released by the allergic response by the human body. Alternatives such as nasal sprays containing steroids and other substances to reduce the local inflammatory response in the nose and eye drops which have similar effects in the eyes can also be considered.

You can also try to cure Hayfever by treating the allergic reaction to specific substances by injection and subsequent desensitization but give due care about the severe reactions which need close hospital supervision.

Prevention

To prevent Hayfever avoid contact with the allergy causing pollens by staying indoors when pollen counts are unusually high. You can also keep the windows and doors closed while sleeping. Frequently air the bedclothes in direct sunlight and maybe try using an air purifier.

In “New Introductory Lectures on Psychoanalysis”, Freud discusses his views on mysticism and psychoanalysis. The concept of mysticism has changed throughout the ages. In ancient times, a mystic was one who communed with God. In Freud’s world, the word mysticism became an all-inclusive word describing paranormal phenomenon occurring outside the laws of nature and science. Science tended to dismiss or ignore mystical ideas because they were viewed as superstitious, irrational and nonsensical. Freud associated the word mysticism with séances, voices from other worlds, noises, apparitions, levitation, trances and prophecies (Coward, 1977, p. 1). Freud also had a reputation of being hostile to mysticism and was opposed to integrating mystical ideas into psychoanalysis. His friendship with Carl Jung ended due to Jung’s beliefs in spiritual and mystical concepts (Wagner, 2008).

At the beginning of the lecture, Freud offers an unflattering view of mysticism and speaks condescendingly toward the subject by refusing to offer any specific definition for the the word itself. He says, “You must not expect me to make any attempt at embracing this ill-circumscribed region with definitions”. Freud says “we all know about this other world” of mysticism which exists beyond the proven laws of science. Subsequently, he discusses mysticism as if the audience is skeptical toward the subject.

From a psychological perspective, Freud is arguing that mankind tends to believe in miracles and the paranormal. He says people become bored with reality, and ‘reason’ is not exciting enough for them to find pleasure in. He claims that people embrace the intriguing nature of mysticism because it adds excitement to their mundane lives. Freud acknowledges mankind’s fascination with the unseen and the miraculous, but claims that ‘reason and science’ are mankind’s greatest strengths.

Historically, Freud says mysticism offers nothing new for mankind. He argues that mysticism helps religions ward off the advancement of science, and says religious reports of prophecies, apparitions and miracles are imaginative fables filled with nonsense, fraud and ignorance. However, Freud admits there is no way to prove or disprove these assertions, and whatever occurred in ancient times cannot be tested or validated today. He claims that those who follow mystical teachings are charlatans, quacks, mind-readers and liars.

However, despite denouncing mysticism at the beginning of the lecture, Freud decides to discuss mysticism as if it were scientific material. During the lecture, he informs the audience that he will elevate the subject of mysticism to the level of scientific inquiry. He is fully aware that he is going against the tide of intellectual, psychological and historical factors. He changes his tone, and argues that any scientific theory must be reasonable in accordance with the laws of nature. He cites an example of the Earth’s center being filled with heavy metals instead of jam as a reasonable assumption. He says a mystical hypothesis might claim there is ‘jam at the center of the Earth’, thus lending itself to immediate rejection. However, Freud points out that the immediate rejection of any theory can be “erroneous and detrimental”. He remembers the negative reaction he received from the medical community when he wrote about the existence of ‘the unconscious’. Freud says he encountered the same type of condemnation that mystics have experienced throughout the ages. Consequently, he cautions his audience not to reject a hypothesis based solely on intellectual considerations.

Surprisingly, at the end of the lecture, Freud questions his own skepticism toward mysticism, “If one regards oneself as a skeptic, it is a good plan to have occasional doubts about one’s skepticism too. It may be that I too have a secret inclination towards the miraculous which thus goes halfway to meet the creation of occult facts.” (Freud, 1965, p. 53) Going “halfway” toward accepting occult “facts” represents a major shift in Freud’s thinking. He is no longer rejecting the concept of mysticism, and is admitting being intuitively drawn to its unscientific explanations. However, he does not embrace mysticism by any means, but is fascinated by the possibilities of the unknown and the unseen. Therefore, Freud is not viewing mysticism with utter skepticism, and is expressing his curiosity about ‘other worldly’ mysteries that science may never be able to explain.

Works Cited

Coward, H. G. (1977). Mystics and scholars: The calgary conference on mysticism,1976. Waterloo: Wilfred Laurier University Press.

Freud, S. (1965). New introductory lectures on psychoanalysis. (J. Strachey, Trans.) New York: W.W. Norton & Company.

Wagner, K.V. (2008). Carl Jung biography (1875-1961). Retrieved March 13, 2008.

http://psychology.about.com/od/profilesofmajorthinkers/p/jungprofile.htm

NIGER DELTA MILITIA PSYCHOLOGY THE ART OF WAR

In most of the militant camps, there is an ideology of warfare that is preached and accepted by a handful of militant of less than 21% not synonymous with criminality or any form of Negative acts other than for the emancipation of all the communities within the Niger-Delta region. The occidental philosophy is, in life one must be a warrior, and war (either by conspiracy or in collaboration) requires stamina achievable in its entire ramification by all means necessary. As strong as this 21% are, while others (the 52% militant criminal, bunkerers, and collaborators in high places) may find beauty in endless dreams, the latter finds it in all its shapes, figures and colours in reality and persistent struggle for survival and liberation of the several communities being sabotaged by those with Presidential and Federal government immunity.

The truth is underpinning in a relationship between the 52% of the criminals and the conspirators, they have forgotten that their limits can set up predicated ethnic cleansing, set the stage for another civil war. The master strategists have seen the Nigerian problematic economic schematic from mountaintop of several debates, and critical observation of whole government. It is clear, that both side will lose, yet more success is to certain groups, which I may somewhat classify in this book; yet in war, there is no victor. The jigsaw puzzle can be unraveled like the cat; they are aware and looking for the perfect economy of motion and gesture in the way to give their blows the greatest force with the least expenditure of effort. The Militant Groups from all indication are ready to give the insensitive federal government a good fight. They also realize that if they are to fall, they will do so with gallantry and ferocity, and not as cowards.

Although the Amnesty package was a welcome development on the negotiation and conflict resolution process of the federal government and all restive groups in the area; only if the right words are used, and from a standpoint, it is not clear if the government understands the common grounds for reconciliation. For the Amnesty truce to work, the both party must shoulder certain blames, and must take responsibility for atrocity perpetuate on the innocent and to the communities over time. Reasons why Asari Dokubo went haywire on the lukewarmness of the federal government to accept fault, and declare state of emergency on the region for immediate development as compensation for the age-long deprivation, genocide, environmental degradation and injustice; government should call up a genuine sovereign national conference in order to deliberate and reconcile all ethnic, economic and socio-politico bitterness. If this presidency is sincere enough, the gaps between the people of the region, the federal and proposal for development of the area can be closed. Both parties must sue for Peace and tranquility.

In militant camps today, agenda have been compromised things have fallen apart, reasons why the centres could not hold for this long. With Ateke tom, Soboma George, Soboma Johnson and co on my end; with Tom Polo, Henry Okah on the other end, while Asari Dokubo and others yet on another end could grieve the bitter horse wipe. While I may have had first hand information on situation as regard current activities in these camps with my very limited intelligent network, I have concurrently loss the motion and gesture for the actual master plan with the main zones of the intelligent reports. However subtle, it is necessitated by the available and limited resource and manpower. With the right finding, results are as ripe as a drop fruit from the tree top.

In my report, I am aware that these militants (more than 21%) have been exhausted in terms of resources, but not in manpower; still the 52% indulge in all known atrocity in the area, such as kidnapping and vandal have in all ramification both resources and manpower, with their major supports from multinationals corporations who are themselves cronies in this widespread international conspiracy, haven be cut temporary because of fervent observation and monitory of non-governmental agencies. While the 21% recognizes and appreciated their limits, there are things they can never do, talents they will never have, loft goals they will never reach; that hardly bothers them. As ferocious warriors they focus on what they have the strength that they do possess and that which they must use creatively; knowing when to slow down, to renew, to retrench and retreat, they outlaw their opponents. They play for the long-term, because by their establishment and oath, they respect the wishes and aspiration of the people which they represent and fight to death for.

There ware time when their calculation and strategies misfire; what had seem to them during the early years of Kaiama Declaration of 1999, the Ogoni Crisis genocide of 1992, the Ijaw/Itsekeri ethnic crisis of late 1990s, and IYC agitation of 2000 – 07, and other numerous campaign has ignite the beast of conflict across the Niger Delta region in relation fair share of resource control and development, a farce brokered between the region, the multinationals and the government. The Militant groups are aware that not everything can be foreseen, the master-strategist amongst them have known how to pick their battles carefully, along with their ability to know when and how to quit. This honor has preserved them till this day in their engagement militarily of the Federal government. Although there have been clamour of criminality perpetuated by them in the name of militancy and somewhat thwarted emancipation, their funding has been genuine even though Limited and Transparency International attested to this facts with regard to the UNO’s fireman policy.

The 21% may have agreed and concurred with this advocacy of warfare, they have controlled their pride and anger, despite the death toll in several communities within the region by the insensitive action of the joint task force (JTF), and the inhuman Arial bombing that have claimed more than 1,162 lives, displaced more than 2430 people and destroyed properties worth Millions of naira in the just concluded Gbaramatu saga. As servants and puppets of the conspirators both the federal, State/Local government and the JTF have done the dirty work of these blood-thirsty clowns called the bigwigs, or the “Blue Blood”. More to our surprises, almost 80% of the 52% criminals in the Niger-Delta have been infested with the “Share the National Cake syndrome” due to greed and selfish gains, 90% of the 21% have stick to their aims and objectives. They have not allowed anger and pride to overtake their powers of reason and limitedness; they have not fallen into bogus offers and irreparable traps because they certainly knew when to stop.

So far, fighting economically on both sides have built an angle of momentum. The Federal Government, Amnesty group, Transparency International and stakeholders should think of finding common ground for possible negotiation, thereby creating a perfect balance between what both groups are capable of and the task of economic development of the region. Since it is an internal insurgency network, the military should diverse a way of peaceful negotiation between the militants. Best of all, the perpetuators of this conflict, of which focal point is the multinationals and pillars of oil hegemony, should not shy away from the problem which they out of technical problems caused. Instead, they should establish a proper community relations and conflict management units. Expatriate should be trained in conflict management and community relation so as to equip them with ready knowledge of averting problems developed in communities by virtue of their explorative activities on the one hand, while the powers that be who have established their stronghold on the blood and sweat of innocent Niger Deltans should not be left out. Though the Stick may smoke, yet it will never be burnt. As urgent as possible, the FGN and stakeholders through their various Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) networks and departments should provide a better and lasting solution other than the Amnesty package to avert further distress in the region.

THE PSYCHOLOGY OF TRUCE

In our contemporary Nigerian society, we live in a culture that promotes democratic value of being fair to one and all, the importance of fitting to a group, and knowing how to cooperate with other people, and being able to resolve any types of conflict that may arise peacefully without war within or without is what guarantees peace. Let none at this mourning moment be over confidence, the losses at both side is immeasurable, and the federal government and every actor of this drama are incapacitated with economic resources. The innocent citizens, the militants and federal government through its blood-thirsty servants of doom (JTF) cannot be too overconfidence of victory.

By virtue of our national ethos, the actors were necessitate with ignorance and excesses, all the groups have involved in murder and any civilized society, these groups should be sued and tried for war crime. There is no such action as protecting internal and external security can make for the lives of the innocent who have died for the unconstitutional excesses of the government and militant. Whatever the prime motives and agitation, the death toll has ruled out any genuine index of success; neither will it make anyone go far. We should be aware that the pull of emotion is inevitable, to notice it when it is happening, and to compensate for it when there is time.

The result toward peace and conflict management is that, in all its primordial process, which in turn is galvanized in stages, it requires prospective dichotomy of interest that may arose the resource control discourse, the heart of which pervades our Federal uniqueness. Peace is a process, and if we must end conflict and crisis, both religiously motivated and ethnically or socio-politically initiated, negotiation, intervention and identification paradigm should be put into play in our contemporary Nigeria especially in the Niger Delta region, North Central and Middle Belt of Nigeria; the causes of conflicts are deep rooted. Ideally the only solution to averting future recurrence and predominant crisis is through rigorous applications of the peace process paradigm (PPP – P3).

Although scholars of non-violence and clinical mediation have stipulates in their peace process model, that the only stages of identifying the causes of conflict is through Community’s Negotiation and Resolution Engagement (CNRE). Even though it was used before Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr. and Many others, in my several papers and publication, it is evident that P3 and CNRE when appropriately applied will produce far yielding results in conflict management. The Federal Government of Nigeria (FGN) is pious with several proposals by scholars on peace and conflict management, yet in addition to this, it can make use of numerous academic yet empirical landmarks. While it is impossible to avail ourselves with general situation of a conflict, we end up losing our hold on reality and reflecting on solution. This is certainly because we have not reflected back ward on the root cause of the conflicts or Schism; we have only dwell in daydream of short-term solution.

In other online articles and papers on the P3 and CNRE it was made clear that Africa union (AU) is only playing the gimmick, and consequent on the fact that the initial goals of the AU in its outlined articles is on two major agenda:-

o Promoting Africa’s peace/unity and

o Economic development in its entire ramification.

It is imperative to note that the AU is yet to fulfill its pristine objectives; and it has also failed to copy the progress made by ECOWAS in reaching an Africancentric Peace Process (APP). I therefore wonder if the AU has brokered any peace process so far, since its inception.

RECONSTITUTING VIABLE SUSTANABLE DEVELOPMENT

In the just concluded economic summit in calabar, organized by the south-south governors and the federal government in lieu of looking into some major MDG plans. From the scheme of things, in a paper delivered to the Institute of Conflict resolution and community development; a theme formulate as an approach to curb the rhetoric family with sabotage, by engaging the youths and the economically challenge. It is in this conception that The “Nigerian Youth Initiative forum” was born. Although still in its sketch-board, yet with proper implementations in line with the sustainable development target; any government can sue for peace and development in host communities, both in the Niger-Delta oil and gas sabotaged zones, and the religiously aggrieved people. In my theories as articulated, it will go a long way in answering questions of utmost economic viability. With regard to the master plan, the application of the theory will only see the light of the day if its mission statement is respected.

However, as I advanced in the NYIF mission statement towards corporate implementation and the preliminary interpretation of the 7+2 point Agenda, it is imperative that the Nigerian youth initiative forum (NYIF) if properly galvanized by the right power politics will not only nearly 76% youth converted and motivated crisis, but the sum-total of peace in the region. The NYIF has designed a model for the proper execution of the 7+2 point agenda of the Yar ‘Adua/Jonathan administration in the rural levels. As a non-profit establishment, its goal therefore should be, to collaborate with other donors, such as the NDDC, NAPEEP & state/local government in reaching its maximum goals as entertained in this administration’s mission statement.

This organization is a major citadel in my master plan and efforts to address some of the seven point Agenda which hinders the youth and the general capacity to major players in the economic development of the marginalized Niger-Delta and the religiously troubled Northern Nigeria.

In the NYIF mission statement, I have laid out in clear and concrete terms the NYIF vision of providing opportunities for the youths of Niger-Delta to access economic fortunes through micro-finance, cooperative ventures, business and commercial activities. The mission of the NYIF will be to create the enabling environment and provide the necessary support to a large percentage of the Niger-Delta of our population, especially the youths and women groups, to be engaged in productive economic activities for the good of all. This is in line with stake holder’s drive towards addressing the marginalization and economic, socio-political and psychological disparity over time; both in the insurgent and economically deprived oil rich Niger-Delta.

The following are some of the objectives of the NYIF is properly implemented and given the necessary attention, which is needed in any developing society of today. And these objectives and visions as I have articulated towards the successes of NYIF, and they includes but not limited to:

– The economic emancipation and the empowerment of our youth, women (especially the widow) and the economically challenged groups through skill acquisition for various trades and ventures.

– The establishment of an ICT (information technology centre) to improve the ICT knowledge of rural and urban dwellers, towards accessory opportunities locally and internationally.

– The creation of a business environment and economic culture which will address the absence of entrepreneurial know-how among the youths

– To stimulate the creative imaginations, talent and curiosity of our youth in the pursuit for development and excellence.

– To promote self-reliance, particularly among our youth and women, thereby eliminating idleness with its attendant vices.

– To enhance the socio-economic status of our local people.

Recently, from my intelligent report Niger-Delta states, urban centres, and local governments have been engendered by the resource which has been lavishly kept in the dark for too long, with explosive mobilization of NYIF peace process and the proliferation of sustainable development paradigm. The group or any other groups for that matter must have to come up with articulate models; which should be of economic and political values, and the network coverage area cannot be undermined – it is part of the success stories that state governments and the FGN may adopt in their political card’s scoring techniques. It is based primarily on the premise that the already processed model will for the first time be experimented in line with the rational behind the statistical work ability of the model.

In the pursuit of the above objectives, the NYIF has established a ‘Targeted Economic empowerment and Sustainability framework,’ under which the overall objectives will be realizable. This was created in view of streamlining all activities designed for implementation under the programmer. The targeted economic empowerment and sustainability framework (TEESF) is structured into three operational branch of the NYIF, namely,

Bureau for skills acquisition, Bureau on business development, Bureau for Small and Medium scale; and they have been so named “Bureau” for convenient usage.

BUREAU FOR SKILLS ACQUISITION

The framework for the realization and implementation of the proposed bureau in the social term will be dialogued in the context of the overall NYIF communities’ sustainable development agenda. However this bureau shall be responsible for the training of various categories of unskilled and semi-skilled youths and women for self-employment, as well as retooling and educating them for specific needs of the manpower market.

Studies carried out in this model indicated that business often located or expanded wear cluster (similar business, input supplies, customer base, etc) vertically increase economic growth, this is impossible without overall empowerment process. From previous studies it has shown that a targeted economic development often lead to more effective use of scarce local and community resources. These facts present a targeted approach to local economic growth index, leading to efforts of several potential data/information sources. An economy is composed of all the households and businesses within the community space and their numerous functions, interactions, and change through time, as expressed in the holistic psyche of any existing society, Niger-Delta state inclusive.

In view of this bureau, the group will be able to work/partner with other NGOs to implement the proper sensitization of the frame work within the ambit of the group master plan. There is already a cooked prerequisite model above board, while there is need to also work with government’s existing models is already in place, as group must concurs with the philosophy of the seven point Agenda of the present administration.

BUREAU ON BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT

If sustainable development truly evolved from a specific planning of today and tomorrow in order to meet the required challenges, goals and the benefit of social economic and political awareness. Then with the concretization agenda of the bureau, a balance will be reached between people with various economic states and in all level of the society in the utilization of the amenities and scarce resources. From previous studies it was discovered that such dimension centers on the ecological and cultural trends of the people. For any development to be called sustainable it must contain the perspective transformation of the general solution of Ecology, culture and local natures; this is incomplete without the participation of all stakeholders in the process.

In practice, the bureau will sever as the storehouse for business ideas. It will offer guidance and consultancy services for business development. In essence, this bureau will teach our women and youths the arts of starting and succeeding in business.

BUREAU ON SMALL AND MEDIUM ENTERPRISES

The Niger-Delta labour market is at the moment undergoing a shift towards a pattern that reflects a more contingent employment economy. Vocational rehabilitation service providers are gradually reconsidering their current practices and strategies which are in tune with emerging trends. Consequently, most global economies of today are marked by an interrelated environmental and developmental crisis in their overall economic trends, as such; Niger-Delta states government, philanthropist and stakeholders should articulate models to deal with community issues. Some of these crises are rooted in the structural dynamics of an economic model which is centered on profit rather than the promotion of the welfare of communities.

In line with the above enumerated discourse, the bureau will provide a platform for accessing capital to promising business and commercial initiatives to establish small and medium scale ventures. It is envisaged however that micro finance banks, committees on loans (philanthropy), corporate civic responsibility by multi-national companies and private/corporate/NGO bodies shall play a crucial role in the realization of the objectives of the NYIF as they shall be confronted for partnership. Various models of developments are particularly manifested in local content to considerably alleviate poverty; this is also a condition for the NYIF’S community development paradigms.

POVERTY STRICKEN DYNAMICS

Due to the long periods of marginalization in the derivation formula, the states of Niger Delta are comprises of civil servants, and medium scale enterprises in scarce levels and location of business. The situation has developed over time without solution to community ills, such as community people oriented policies and programs. The better part of the work of the various bureaus that has been structured by the Executive of the NYIF in line with the Niger Delta Agenda (NDA) is to curb poverty, illiteracy and social ignorance. In the past, the above is resultant and often led to destructive consequences, poverty, diseases, and deforestation. Akwa-Ibom, Rivers, and Cross-River states are a reflection of the aforesaid consequences, as seen in the use of citizens are house boys and girls and other forms of economic deprivation of its citizens.

At the moment, there is a great disparity in wealth, which must be balanced at all cost through sustainable development in various local governments and communities across the states of the country, of which emergency situation on the Niger-Delta region, the core western and eastern (Erosion driven) and the north central of Nigeria, should urgently be put into consideration. So far, the social, cultural, political and economic injustice as a result of corruption of public offices office holders, politically elected representatives, is eating deep into the viable sustainable development pattern especially in the deprived and aggrieved Niger-Delta State, which has indeed forced her youth to idleness and militancy.

By comparison, more than 62% of the funds allocated to the state are consumed by 38% of the population, vis-à-vis while 62% of local environmental degradation is created by the same 38%, at which point the power and resources is also increasing the concentration of wealth within richest 38%, which amounts to a handful of civil servants and public offer holders. The recurrent imbalances also give rise to the Niger-Delta communities. Two communities in Akwa-Ibom was used by the group, is a case study for the realization of the models already developed so far.

On partnership with both states, local governments, etc in private individuals, NGOs, multi-national/indigenous companies etc in carryout these land able model. We intend to commence by introduce by establishing an economic empowerment programme immediately, which shall flag-off a series of skills sensitization workshops, semi-skilled and economically challenge youths across the approval by donor bodies and agencies, mainly of artisans, primary and secondary school leavers and the physically challenged, whose creativity and productive potentials to be harnessed and upgraded. Likewise, the refugees from Somali etc. that litters the streets of major towns across the regions will not be left out.

DEVELOPMENT CYCLE

The NYIF on sustainable development has with in the time frame developed a characterized effect of emergency procedural effect of developing the Niger-Delta region and timed youths and women respectively, the specialized process can delay the creation of a community economic development plan.

With the evolving of the NYIF into the scheme of things, a structured analysis is necessary for communities to realize their useful economic potentials. Such analysis is useful for examining the economic make up of area and how those areas respond to internal and extends trends. Community development is reliant on competent internal leaders in the accomplishment of set objectives and how it can minimize obstacles poised by external bureaucratic agencies. The NYIF is ready to engage community leaders, heads and chiefs in the overall actualization of our set goals. We are also aware of the facts that effective and articulate leadership structure will encourage community members to identify with recurrent local sustainable development agenda, and hence take necessary steps in ameliorating their situation. NYIF through its bureau help in training youth in certain leadership courses bodies, NGOs, multinational companies etc in community leadership structure.

Therefore through this orientation and leadership training exercise, an economic analysis of Niger-Delta communities, coupled with strategies development plants providing the framework to combat common local issues such as are enshrined in the orbit of the community development framework (CDF).

DEVELOPMENTS STAGES

As a bid to answer some of the militating economic issues, the group in future partnership with NGOs, government bodies have, with clear hopes underscore some of the vital steps to be followed in solving the ills of sustainable development.

SUSTAINABLE CONTINUTY

With the urgency to transform the youth of the Niger-delta communities under the aegis of The National Youth Initiative Forum (NYIF) – a youth enterprenurerial organization, through it ideologies has suggested the need for groups to make initial decision in revamping our national federal pledges, so as to secure the nation’s hero’s past. Among the agenda is to build a community strategy and help to galvanize the awareness necessary for youth centered sustainable growth. At this point, the communities will have to decide if benefits of such process are worth the effort before implementation. NGOs, as well as NAPEP could be contracted to partner in their advisory and technical capacity of the project.

ENGAGEMENT RULE MODEL

Plans are not if a handful of individuals are involved. Broad community support is critical, and wider the range of participation, the greater the talent pool available. Such may, plus or minus involve the public sector group- civil society, private sector representation, volunteer organization etc, should be encouraged to participate. Such models, was first introduced in macrocosm by the group through the sharing of eye-glasses area of Akwa-Ibom, an LGA in the Niger Delta region.

PROVISION OF INCENTIVE TO PARTICIPATING YOUTH AND WOMEN

Participation in any event either for personal or collective development is of consideration, people tends to participate in event that more rewarding, both in principal and in practice than those of little significant which are usually long-term Kurt lumen (1980). In support of this view, the government and NYIF through a committee should also approve the payment of stipends to all participations during the training exercise.

This will cause ten major trends which includes.

– Create increased participation in the exercise by youths and women across the region thereby reducing to it’s barest minimum, idleness, youth militancy, prostitution and empowerment initiatives.

– Help launder the success stories across the nation and globally, thereby increasing investment and economic development of the regions by indigenous and non-indigenous investors.

– It enhances peace and unity in the region.

– It will enhance rural-urban transformation and lead, to successive urban decoration.

– It creates and generates even distribution of wealth and the use of scarce resources.

– It boosts the entrepreneurial viability of the youths and women towards self-reliance and independence.

– It helps in the building up of new cultural and ecological development, as perception of participants towards marginalization, conflicts, militancy, deprivation would have be reduce to the lowest degeneration of the word. Youth and women beneficiary at the end of the day, haven successfully graduated from the institute, will be equipped with vast entrepreneurial skills, sent-off grants and the use of micro-finance loans will enable them engage in meaning employment.

– It reduces government work load and enhances the number of fax payers, hence a booming economy as everybody will be a co-participant in the government of the day.

– It reduces poverty as well as creates wealth and self-reliance.

– It boosts the overall standard of living.

– On successful completion of the training programme, participants will be assisted with take -off grants and would be encouraged to access loans form selected state micro-finances.

Love is a wonderful thing and it can make the world a beautiful place to live in. This is the reason many are looking for love and if you have not found yours yet, then maybe it is time to look outside the box so to speak. Dating someone from a different race is not only exciting, but it opens up a new world for you to discover. Although interracial dating is common today and are widely accepted in the society, one has a long way to in terms of family acceptance especially if one’s parent’s do not approve of such relationships.

Overcoming Interracial Relationship Problems

Dating someone of a different color is a sensitive topic for some society especially those who strictly follow their culture and tradition. It can also be a big dilemma for one raised under these concepts and questions like “What their parents will think about the relationship?” and “What would others might think about them?” Many who date outside of their own race often have fears that their family will react negatively and would reject the relationship.

There are plenty of reasons for this fear such as incompatibility concerning one’s culture, ignorance and even misconceptions. That said if you are worried about how this would affect your relationship with your family, it is best to initiate it first to allay any fears that your parents might have about your relationship. It might be hard at the start, but doing it at the onset would save you some stress and help you enjoy your relationship.

Choosing the Best Way to Talk with your Parents

If you are not living at home, then you can opt to tell your parents about it during holidays or special events. If you think that they would react in a negative way, it is best to do so before your relatives arrive or after the party when the guest have departed. If you do not feel confident enough, you can drop in the news through lunch or over a phone conversation. It might be like a coward’s way to do so but it can save you from a lot of pressure and stress.

Be Calm and Prepared

Before you talk with your parents, it is best to be calm and come ready. Being calm will help you think about what you have to say when your parents question you about it. Show your parents that you are matured enough to handle any kind of relationship and are prepared for it. Some family members might react negatively and would start shouting or becoming emotional, by being calm, you will not add to the stressful situation.

If you have supportive family members, it is best to talk to them first so you can explain the situation and ask for their support should the time come when you have to talk to your parents. It is scary, but having someone to support you can boost your morale and confidence.

Do not Judge a Book by its Cover

At the end of the day, you might be surprise when they approve and accept your relationship. Although quite rare, many parents find it necessary to adjust to the situation at hand especially if you live in a different country or place. As dating someone from another race is not often discuss during family dinner or the topic never came up, you will never know what to expect.